2 months on.

2 months on i have a new blog.

i've met new people.

i've been to germany.

but this has always been the place of my rants. shall always be i think.

she obviously didn't like what she saw, even tho i can tell you i thoroughly enjoyed it. even after that scolding.

i worried about what he would think. not sure if she told on me.

i have a new best friend. everyone say hi to Shelly.

i'm going nuts. i'm not surprised.

someone save me.

please.

yayness!

okay okay, i didn't watch the match, but STILL.

liverpool never fails to make my day.

and i'm especially happy since Riise scored!!!!

2-1. TAKE THAT CHELSEA, MUAHAHAHAHA.

cup finals, here we come!

bitching time!!!!

okay...... it's kinda hard to blog at this angle (laptop's at 45 degree angle and i'm lying down. don't ask me how i acheive this. i just do.) but you won't believe how fast i can type, albeit with spelling mistakes.

so.

what's a girl gotta do when she's home alone, trying to stay away from the delicious dark chocolate that is in the fridge while trying to study?

yes, you've got it. bitch about stuff on her blog.

it's not very nice, but it gives her something to do.

people people in the class. why must they get on my nerves? why? why can't things be as pure and simple as they were back in asix?

bimbo, you're a nice girl. be a little less bimbo? and pls stop flirting w G2. it really really is nausea inducing.

bimbo's friend, i've completed the 180 turn on my opinion on you. i'm thankful i did that faster than when i was with X. X ruined my life but made me realised that i had friends who cared. i'm lucky i know that i can't trust you now. at least not when YOU are under X's influence. sorry, i really am, you were a nice girl, but so was X.

JJ. omg la, i can't believe i'm using my idol's name on you. please. if you wanna be bagua, be. don't pretend to be quiet and oh-so-guai. and if you're a busybody, please don't shut people out from your life. it's stupidity. you're stopping people from seeing who you really are, but you want to know all about them. and can you please stop talking so much? especially in the library when i'm reading. and stop being so fucking insecure.. it really gets on my nerves. have some courage pls. PLEASE.

jj's friend. i have no idea if it's your nature or if it's jj's influence. please be secure enough to sit alone at the caf table while me and oli go buy food. what's wrong with sitting alone? strength in numbers? ya, whatever. seriously. and stop jj this jj that me. and stop asking me where jj is. she's your better friend, i won't know. and stop asking me stupid questions like really ar. "my name is hilary" "really ar?" bah.

jamie. i'm totally ignoring you now. i've tried so hard to have a normal conversation with you but you just don't seem to care. fine, whatever. you think you're so popular huh. i loved the look on your face when you realise that pl is also my friend, and that yes, i do know people from your OG. surprise surprise. please get a life, even as i'm trying to get one myself.

jamie's friend and jamie's friend's friend please please please be normal around me. you are nice girls, just bounded but some unwritten rule to be exclusively cliqueish with jamie. be nice, talk. that's all i ask for.

A (a new person got this name). i really really can't stand you. you and your double standards. please. be nice like your friend? stop being such a bimbo.

*Sigh* i really really hate to bitch. maybe michelle is right? going to SA makes me bitchier? i dunno really. but i'm glad that i've found good friends too. =\ =}

parents away, girl will play

that's if she is not busy trying to study or sleeping away. or blogging for that matter of fact.

i woke up at 10 + this morning, but somehow managed to lai chuang till about 11. went down to buy some food and started reading my mails.

i hate having mails that make me happy and sad.

Ron from houghton asked if i was still going. i felt a bit bad cos i thought my mum replied to his email ONE MONTH AGO telling him i was not going.

now, ONE MONTH LATER, i told him straight, no. and that kinda sucks cos i really wanted to go.

*sigh*

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT...

ms wade sent an email seperate from the chain of mails that we were sending to each other, and

Hi Hilary!

I just want to let you know that I received your WES evaluation today. After looking through your documents, I am ready to make the official decision.

I will be in touch soon…


OMG OMG OMG.

will i get that scholarship?!!! by the way, my WES evaluation was pretty positive. WES is an organisation that evaluates stuff for companies and schools all around the world without biasness. i got A- GPA, pretty good, considering i had 2 Bs and a C on my O level cert. =
so cool. can't wait can't wait can't wait.

on that note too, ms chia is an ueber nice DP! i thought she was going to grill me about the scholarship yada yada, but turns out she was just wanting to help me with the interview. taught me how to phrase my words carefully, dumped a few questions on me to ensure that i won't fumble on tuesday, and most of all, reminded me about the entire PW fiasco.

wow. super nice!

went to com lab after that to find Rach. talked a little with her and stuff. she's a great listener! i'm very thankful that i still have a friend like her after Jas left. at least she's in close proximity when i need to bitch about bitches in school.

after that went for JJ lin's concert. took him like an hour plus before turning up?!!!! and then he left just as abruptly. sad, really. but his singing is oh-so-heavenly. every bit as brilliant as the cd! should have sat in front though, so i could take better vids with my very lousy phone. but i don't really regret it cos i was with my classmates at that time =)

then took a cab with jiaqi and charmaine to RI to catch the rugby match at RJ. X doesn't really know that i dislike her... =X and X's good friend got on my nerves, more on that later though. was quite upset that SA lost, but am convinced that it's cos people like ashraf and mimi and ryan wasn't playing.

BIAS i know, but still....

rugby's super violent. got really pissed at X and therefore not talk to her when she exclaimed how violent that game was and five minutes later, when I exclaimed it, she said, what that's the way it is!.

fucking hypocrite.

and x's good friend, i'm sorry, i used to like you... but now, no. you love your first three months school? GO BACK. don't be fucking anti-Saint when you're there at the games. go away with X la, bloody bitch. i hate disloyal people who pretend they aren't. but at least i know where your hypocritism comes from.

anyways, met MICH and that brightened up the game a little! was so fun just being crazy with her. though wasn't really happy (more like scared) when she dragged me through enemy territory, aka RJ's side of the gallery. (their gallery is smaller than SA's!!!)

after the entire thing, was going to walk to german, when i realised that I COMPLETELY FORGOT THE TIME AND THEREFORE MISSED LESSONS.

oh shit. and herr S was starting on a new topic too. =\ and so dead.

checked the moelc site, and he had not posted up anything yet. oh dear oh dear. then i realised he called A level german HIGHER GERMAN. how COOL is that?!!!! i'm taking HIGHER german!!!

hehe.

went back home, and since no parents to boss me around promptly fell asleep on the sofa. woke up at 10 +!!!! and proceeded to bathe super quickly and dried my hair as best as possible before zonking out on my bed.

so tired!

specifics

so i did my PI.

really really upset, cos mr leong says i can't drop that subject even if i get official confirmation. unless i drop out of school.

*is sad*

so stayed up till 1 plus this morning to do it. AND THEN continued to study for econs test, which did not seem to have helped.

i think i've failed my first econs test.

damn. i like the subject!!!!

anyways, meeting with DP tomorrow during econs make up lesson. panicking already. should i tell her that i'm going to the States? and am i really that evil by depriving others of the chance of the scholarship?

*is REALLY REALLY SAD*

my life sucks so far. the only uplifting point is that it seems likely that we're going to germany so that's fine with me =) but the tix and jk's visa.....

*shakes head*

mum's birthday's tml. celebrating tonight cos she's going to china. wth right!!!!

sad. must go bathe and be perfect hostess again...

just wanna cry

from being overly stressed. only just completed my PI. so tired la.

also because of www.emailsanta.com/read_santa_letters.asp

wow.

i sent in a mail, see if it gets up there.

and yes, i still believe in santa, even though every year, the chances of the tree going up just gets lesser and lesser...

*sigh*

omg what the hell???

just to overemphasize the fact that the world is weird, idy just im-ed me to tell me she's married (last year in fact) and that she's 8 months pregnant.

and my mum told me that my er sao's in IMH. my cute bubbly er sao.

wtf is wrong with the world?!!!!

weird again

yes i know i should be offline and doing my work, but a heart to heart talk with ho ho today reminded me just how WEIRD life is.

*sigh*

like how she's one of the best people at house comm nominations, but didn't get thru interview?

sigh

and ticket prices are so fucked up now.

sigh

what's wrong with the world, tell me?!!!!

weird day

currently in the school library. first time i'm blogging in the school, so it's kinda weird. especially when i use my peripheral vision and see the people on either side of me blogging too.

BWAHAHAHA.

sorry. currently in high spirits cos the noisy group behind me dropped their keyboards and got scolded by the library (aka, have to disband muahahaha). also, just got off the phone and emailed christine about the airtix to germany.

yes, i know i have not got desiree's details, but just couldn't help it!!!

i also am confirmed going to US.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.

even if they cancel the germany trip now i don't care! cos i'm too happy!

yes yes, i know that i said i was going a long long long time ago.

but of course it's better to know that i definitely have a space there. =) just smsed mr leong to see if i can not do PI.

bet he'll shake his head and sigh when her reads it! BWAHAHA.

*bubbles with joy*

anyways, i'm actually staying in school to study, hence i can't dally on this blog as i could before. hehe. it's sort of a measure to stop me from overusing the internet.

i bet you think that's weird. me studying, not me using the net.

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anyways. had first morning run this morning (duh, you think afternoon meh?!)

i love kristal already. REALLY REALLY love her. she helped me to run 5 rounds (2 km) nonstop. i usually can do only 3 rounds (1.2km).

anyways, weird thing about that was that i failed my maths on the spot, or general knowledge rather, because i thought that one round was 300m.

yes. blame me for my stupidity, but i kept telling myself after that horrible third round that i had to run "100m more, cos then i'll complete 1 km."

*smashes forehead into wall*

oooooooo the guy next to me (previously was girl but she blogs evidently faster) is playing war bears!!!! michelle = smart = can't finish game. hilary = zhi shang di = can finish. =p

so after the run, i gained 0.1kg worth of muscles. i glared (gently, if that's possible) at mr chay, daring him to say anything about it.

haha. he didn't.

my target weight now is __kg. mr chay made me look for one. *sigh*

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i'm the only one that does econs on the comp i think. everyone else wrote theirs out nicely, drew nice graphs etc, but i Paint-ed the graph and typed the entire essay (quite short, ~ 700 words) out. to top it off, i paperclip-ed it instead of stapling it cos i couldn't find one and was too lazy to borrow one.

ha. that's weird (as compared to others!)

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my seniors in school in general, aka j2s, are weird.

for a lousy percentage (40+%) of distinction getters for PW, they were upset.

that's fine, seeing as people were falsely telling me that it was 41 (!!!!) out of the cohort getting distinctions.

but seeing as the teachers (yes, sa teachers) were marking it, they saw fit to run a petition.

but as mrs lim fairly pointed out, the school was going to do a review anyways.

*sigh*

so now we have bad publicity for the school and overly stressed teachers.

thanks for nothing, weirdos.

(they're weird cos they did all these in our name . YES , in the name of the J1s. ' don't want you guys to suffer like we did. *sigh* we'll write a petition so that you guys won't suffer our fate!'

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GP, absolute favourite lesson of mine, was a great laugh again.

i think casey leong is funny accidentally on purpose.

like how he kept mentioning petitions as the solution to everything. (seriously j2s, ni de hao xing wo xin ling le, but you all caused me terrible misery during GP, that's not fair, really. we got a scolding too.)

and how he shouts when we make grammar mistakes.

*sigh*

but he's a brill teacher. have to admit that. taught me more than i can currently learn, but that's fine actually. i just love world news. =p

so while mr leong was being weird accidentally on pupose, aisha, house comm wannabe (romanis peep vote for her!!!) asked if she could draw her campaign on my hand.

o.0

erm. ya, go ahead.

and she wrote :

-pic coming your way soon-

i completely forgot about it until i was asked by total strangers; "who's aisha?"

THANKS A LOT. grr.

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there's something weird about A too. yes, i have yet to give A a name. she really is below that level. showed me that today. RRROOOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR.

A completely ignored me in front of B (A's friend, who can't be named for fear of the leak of identity of A) and B seemed to feel bad.

i think she's badmouthing me?

and the weird thing was that i've been trying super hard lately to talk to her normally, try to even be friends with her.

like Jolene, she completely evaded me. smile, grunts (fart-like noises, like huh too, acc. to Casey Leong) whatever. they are the same. you don't care me, i don't care you lo. lousy english.

and all the reps in the class. ya la, they're nice, but, it's just weird how A can preach that they are responsible and that i ain't (see former posts) when they don't get notes for my class ontime!

argh.

that really sucks cos i hate having no notes during lectures. i feel so totally lost that it really is damn irritating.

*sigh*

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argh! mr leong just replied saying must wait till the official notice comes! shit. still must do PI. =\

completely weird day =) feeling weird too. now must wait for rain to stop (aka thru studying) before i can go home.

yay for weird days =)

we're going!

i seriously hope this is the last time i have to post on germany.

until after i come back, that is...

soloman says he can go, so we're going.

i'm calling to enquire about tix tml.

i really really really want to go.

we've even got reichstag tour booked!

*ps my aunt called just an hour or so before to tell me that she has this backpack that she used for her bagpacking days for me! intuition or what?!!!

all in a ball game

it's weird how a ball game tells so much about a group of people. maybe i'm comparing, i hope i'm not just being biased. but it is important to me that a1 bonds before i leave. it's just not happening, and i think i know why...

let me tell you a story. in first intake, mr chay let asix play a ball game. he called it modified captain's ball, i call it bonded-ness indicator test. you'll see why shortly.

the rules are simple: just follow captain ball's rules, in possession of the ball means you have to be stationary, pass on to others, only that scoring is thru two table legs at either sides of the hall.

so a group has two tables at the extreme two ends at one side of the hall, while the other group at the other end.

at that time, asix was starting to show how bonded it could be. us girls were sticking together more with ourselves than our OGs, and even the guys joined in. we thought this was a normal game, so we just split ourselves up and played.

we started getting rougher and rougher with each other during the game. certain people *coff elsa coff* were easily pissed off at others being rough, but yet was rough herthemselves. but others: me, jas, eliza, rach!!!, bev, serene, etc etc started enjoying it.

we started enjoying pulling people away from the legs of the tables.

we started enjoying pulling away the tables.

we started enjoying crowding the ball-possessor to get the ball.

and in that process we bonded.

after the game, mr chay told us that we weren't bonded yet. he could tell by the fact that we were still somewhat polite with each other, although decreasingly so. he told us how a j2 class was so bonded that they carried people away from the tables but could not find it in their hearts to hate/get pissed at someone they felt bonded with.

it was hence after, that we (i think) decidedly got bonded.

PE lessons were a joy, mainly cos it gave us more bonding time.

playing against other classes for captain's ball? no problemo.

cos we were bonded, we made kissing noises to get the ball and shouted names of people of the opposite team to distract them. what's in a name? unfamiliarity, i say. we were past that stage; no need for names now, we are asix, we are one.

coming back to today, i was strolling to school and realized that, after a month, aone has not bonded. asix took much lesser time. much much lesser time. what's keeping us apart? i didn't know.

till the PE lesson.

we were playing captain's ball but scoring thru basketball hoops (it was raining) when another class came to share the hall. we then had to run around passing a ball to tap a member of the opposite team to kick them out. trouble was that it was a small area, quite hard to evade people.
i thought we were starting to bond when team 2 (i was in team 1) grabbed cindy's hand and tapped her. i laughed, as did the class, and it was so like with asix. i felt happy, but not for long.

i suggested we do that for the other team too, after all, if we're a class we should be able to more than tolerate grabbing and rough play.

______ said no.

____ also.

_____ did not comment, but her pursed lips said it all.

i was upset, disappointed. we continued to play, a little better, but it just wasn't there. coordination was between certain individuals, not the group.

disappointing.

at least now i know why though. as long as these people continue wanting to have sportsmanship within the class, we'll forever be that, sportsmen wary of the opposite team, just being polite. we'll never reach the stage where it was alright to grab the other person and have fun together.

never.

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have you noticed how easily the eyes communicate thoughts with others?

like how it gravitates naturally to the one with the most authority in the room, just to shy away soon after.

like how when you're exasperated by something, but out of politeness not want to point out, look away, just to find that the person at the other side of the room shares the same sentiments. you smile, so does that person.

like how you can tell fear, happiness, sadness, etc just from a glance.

i dunno, but that's what i notice.

and i especially notice it during GP. is it me? or is the fact that CL brings out the best/worst/terrified in someone?

tonnes of pics. literally.

no words yet, cos it's not complete. =p


just need to type sth here. i found this in a children's book in the MOELC library. first two pages summore. the question 'was what did you discover?'.

*faints*